Alvin, Simon, and Theodore

"Cars." I've heard that movie about 206 times. I could repeat it word for word. You know..."Mack? I ain't no Mack, I'm a Peterbilt for dang's sake. Turn on your lights, you moron!"

Or how's about, "Look at all those sleepin' trucks. I don't know if I can make it!" (I repeated this particular phrase about seven times on Sam and my's last midnight roadtrip between Atlanta, GA and Orlando, FL. He didn't think it was so funny about halfway through the first sentence.)

And there's the old fallback: "Tractor's is so dumb!" combined with "Winter is a grand old time, of this there is no 'ifs or buts.' But, all that salt and grime can rust your bolts and freeze your....Lightning!"

Good times. Yes, Lightning McQueen and crew provide such enlightning background noise for me day in and out as I go about mopping, laundry, dishes, etc. I can't wait for "Cars 2" to make it's debut this summer. Seriously. I can't. Forget memorizing Shakespearean sonnets or Chaucer's tales, me needs me some more good one-liners to repeat to myself.

So, my kids have their repertoire of go-to movies. Among others I've given a lot of thought to lately is "Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel."

I grew up with Alvin, Simon, Theodore (just typing their names makes me want to "do-do-dada-do" sing the themesong). But, the Saturday morning show was always in cartoon format. This new technology combines the squirrels with actual humans. They interact. Weird.

So, as I'm using my Swiffer Wet Mop (the only way to clean) the other day, I am, as usual, listening to Alvin and his bros in the background. I get to thinking: Are the Chipmunks a metaphor for boy bands?

• They're a popular music act consisting of three to six members, as "boy band" is defined by my literary encyclopedia, Wikipedia.


• The Chipmunks don't play musical instruments, although I think Alvin has been known to strum a riff.


• They're trendy; come on, where's Alvin's ankle-length tunic sweater with the emblazoned "A"? It's been replaced with the 2000ish version hoodie.


• They don't compose or perform their own material.


• And simply put: the girls love them.

However, my theory won't be proven correct until we see "True Hollywood Story: Alvin and the Chipmunks."

They have to be a metaphor. I mean no one could really interact with talking chipmunks and think it's normal, right? And so my musings go. And then I replace the Swiffer mop pad, walk into my bedroom, and fold some laundry. And to think I once argued the post-colonial persecution of "Jane Eyre's" Bertha as looking through a neo-feminist lens.

This is so much more fun!