Confessions of a FS Shopaholic

"FS" - that's my new lingo for Food Storage. And this week I've been on yet another "gotta-get-it-now" kick. However, after some self-reflection, I am admitting some not so good things about my new hobby.

I love the idea of food storage. We've been told to get it and get our houses in order to prepare for times of personal family need or maybe some disaster in the future. I get it, and I'm trying to do that.
But, here are my problems: I love to organize. I enjoy looking in my pantry, deciding what I need, and making lists. I love lists. Lots of lists. Lots of times, lots of lists with lots of nothing crossed off on them.

So, I was thrilled last night at 11:30 pm when I found on the church's website a spreadsheet program that actually let you type in the amount of item you needed at the cannery, and then added it all up for you with a grand total. How cool is that! So, I printed that list off.
Then, I got all giddy again when I found a food storage inventory checklist that works just like a checkbook ledger. Wow! It organizes all your essentials into an easy to follow (what else?) another checklist!

So, I'm all pumped up with my lists now. So, time for my next favorite part of FS: going shopping! I think I enjoy this part so much because it's kind of guilt-free. About 75 percent of the time I feel guilty buying things for myself. But, it's FS, right? It's for the common family good, so the cannery wants $180 for red wheat, here you go! Love to spend that money.

So, I love FS lists. I love FS shopping. What I don't love is FS cooking. Open a can of wheat and I would have to take a good, hard educated guess to come close to what it is. But, for my b-day in a few weeks I'm asking for a wheat grinder so I can have some motivation to become better acquainted with my 70 lbs. of wheat in the basement. (But, I don't know who I'm asking since I always wind up buying my own presents and my own cake. Do you know how weird and narcissistic it is to tell the lady at Albertson's to write your own name on the cake?)

Anyway, I'm slowing building up my FS, I just now need some motivation to use it. I really need some motivation because what did I want for dinner last night? Pizza. And I'm not talking the good-deal-10-for-$10 pizza. I wanted the good stuff, and so far my FS just hasn't caught my interest in that way.

My Railroader

Milo wants to be just like Grampy, but...something's just not right...

Oh yes, now that's better!

Sorry, Dad, I couldn't resist. Milo loves this outfit nowadays. He has to have his train shirt on and his overalls. He's getting obsessive about it, too. Neither he nor Matt let me dress them anymore.

Monkey the Matt

What a Rush!

My conscience once again started to get the better of me last night while watching the 10:00 news: FOOD STORAGE! I must get food storage! This little piece of prophetic counsel has been nagging at me for years, ever since I became "the mom." KSL featured a girl (she looked way too young to have a year's supply) promoting her website and her food storage "made simple" program.

So, after looking down at Sam passed out on the floor by the space heater, I got up, got online, and got to work. I'm sure most of my fellow Utahns are familiar with these programs. My sister-in-law, Tiesha, has also done it and says you can build your food storage up fast.

The above-mentioned KSL girl's website, http://www.myfoodstoragedeals.com/ features the ads from five major Utah grocery stores. She compares each stores' ads and categorizes how good their deals actually are. This works for me because I don't pay attention enough to know if a can of corn at .89 is a good deal or not. It may be advertised as a good deal, but...stores aren't exactly out to help the little guy. So, in her shopping wisdom, she has done the work for you. After a two-week free trial, it costs like $4/month.

The other deal I've finally decided to check out is http://www.couponsense.com/. Again, this a fee service, but the idea here is that you only buy things when they're on sale and you have a coupon for it. The coded coupon system is easy to figure out and they keep track of all the sales at the major grocery stores, too. Another website, http://www.pinchingyourpennies.com/ does what the above two sites do, but it's free. Their system is also not as user-friendly.

So, off I went today. What a rush! At Smith's I picked up two free items, and at Albertson's another free item. Cooper and I were driving around in the mini-van like we were on "Amazing Race: SG edition." My heart was pounding as I raced the aisles looking for my elusive treasures. I was delighted once I found them, then pissed if I was too late and all the goodies were gone.

The picture above is of my most treasured goodies, costing a total of $2. Normally, I found inanimate pictures kind of lame (for example, I just saw a blog of a fixed garbage disposal. Hmm...thanks for the picture?), but I had to post this one for posterity.

So, for my first attempt - not bad. With everything I bought, I think I saved around $19. But, after all that hard work I had to treat myself to Port-a-Sub which was like $8. Shopping is so hard!

The Dentist

I hate the dentist. I would rather have a baby than go to the dentist. (Sidenote here: I actually look forward to baby delivery day. I've been resigned to C-sections because of small pelvis bones - yea, I know you wouldn't think that to look at me. So, for me, the worst part of having a baby is the IV at the beginning. Hook me up with a spinal block, Percocet, a catheter, food brought right to my bedside, my own TV and remote, someone to change my sheets, people calling and visiting, flowers, someone to watch my kids, a "Call" button at my disposal, and WHO wouldn't want to have a baby! My cousin, KariAnn, says I just need a day at the spa. Yes, that would be cheaper and easier.)

The dentist, on the other hand, does not hand out Percocet like it's Skittles. Besides, there is no place more sensitive than the head/face region. So, I avoid such said pain by just not going. I'm an adult. If I don't want to go to the dentist, then I'm not going. In fact, suffice it to say the last time I went I had but a single child. But, for months now my mother's voice has been ringing quietly in the back of my mind: "your overall health can be linked to what's going on in your mouth." She was always good about taking my brother and me to the dentist. I have failed in that area, so far, with Matt.

So, I bit the proverbial bullet and went today. The overall cleaning was a bit white-knuckle clenching, but I got through it thanks to Joy Behar and the rest of the ladies on "The View." I hate that woman. So, when the substitute dentist came in, of course he found a chipped sealant with a bit of a cavity. He said we could fix it now or later. Didn't know when I'd get the chance again (did I mention going to the dentist was, in part, scheduled as a break from the kids?)

So, this young dentist fella, I kind of like him. This was the most sublime, enjoyable cavity-filling experience I've had in my 23 years of dentistry! He asked if I'd like some nitrous gas. Does this man know me?? Never tried it, but, um, yea, give it to me and do you have a gas hose with a larger diameter? Loved it!

After the initial finger and toes tingling I began to relax. With relaxing music coming through the earphones, the gentle hum of the drill, and the soft warm light of the overhead lamp shining on my face, my body, along with the room, began to sway, and I was on the sunny shores of Oahu. It was over all too quickly. Next time, I will get the gas for my cleaning. I've already scheduled my next exam in six months.

Financial ADD

Sam is very much the entrepenuer. Since I've known him he's always had his own tractor (semi, for those of you "lay people") that he's leased to his dad's trucking company. But on the side, Sam's owned a pest control business, lawn maintenance business, has worked for the race team, manages the motorhome for race team owner's family, and we just "celebrated" our one year Andrus Towing anniversary.

So, Sam, who I believe has financial ADD, likes to keep busy. Just today he is on his way down to El Paso, Texas to haul some belongings, including four broken cars and a horse, for a Mexican family. Apparently since the Oasis has closed in Mesquite, a lot of workers are picking up and moving back down south (if you know what I mean). So, Sam's set off on yet another business venture - apparently we are now in competition with Mayflower Moving.

Sam is gone now so that leaves me to answer calls for the towing company. Hello, I am not equipped with either knowledge, or emotional stability, to do this. I'm getting so stressed out about it. In theory, this arrangement should work OK. I answer calls, call one of two men who do the tows when Sam is gone, they get right to it, do the job, call me back when they're done, and I call the customer to collect payment. It ain't working that way.

First, most times I feel like an idiot because I either ask stupid questions, or don't ask the right questions, to the customer, which leaves either party with more questions. Second, it's not working when either worker isn't available to do the work. Combine those two reasons with the third and you'll get the real clincher: I worry way too much!

There are few industries where workers are more hardened than the transportation industry. Think about it: what do women truckers look like? And, what do women dispatchers act like? Yea...there's a little food for thought. These women are either hardened by the nature of their business, or they go into the business because they're already tough. So, on the phone I'm dealing with gruff people; the tone just isn't quite the same as my visiting teacher calling for a visit.

So, I admit I'm a people pleaser. I get stressed out dealing with incidences I don't know much about with people who want answers immediately. I don't know how my mother-in-law has survived 30+ years in this industry. I don't know how I'm going to survive my appointed job (thanks honey!) when my husband leaves for weeks at time to Europe for the race team, where he probably won't get any Verizon service. I think if I were to work full-time dispatching for a trucking company I would have to curl up in the corner and cry. In fact, I'm going to go do that right now!

The Big Mac

The fam feasted on some fine dining Saturday afternoon in one of my favorite bacteria-laden atmospheres: McDonald's playplace! Next to perusing in Big Lots, McDonald's playplace has got to top the list of places I have to take a shower after visiting. Actually, we go to McDonald's because it's pretty much my only way of getting out, eating, and keeping my kids in a confined area. So, once again McDonald's won out over the Olive Garden.

Sam and I have had discussions lately about his over indulgence in fast food cuisine. I think he eats too much of it and he agrees. But, like so many other Mormons his addiction has got to be either prescription drugs or food. The latter has won out. This day at McDonald's was no different.

On Sam's "tray" - yes he had a whole tray to himself - was a BLT sandwich, 6-piece chicken nuggets, and a Big Mac. He'd gotten his food before I met him there. So, when I sat down he was on his nuggets then moved on to his BLT. Which, I, too, had to sample - I mean, come on, it's a sandwich with lettuce and tomato, it has to be healthy, right??

Well, after finishing his frist two entrees, he opens the Big Mac box. It was empty. The man says to me, "Where's my Big Mac?" I asked the next logical question: "Did you eat it?" Sam's answer: "I can't remember."

Oh, good hell, I thought to myself, and then said aloud: "Well, let's look at the evidence. There's a dollop of secret sauce on the side of the box and lettuce shreds are at the bottom. I think you ate it."

Sam's response: "Well, if I didn't eat it, at least it saved me some calories."

Was there a lesson learned about fast food overconsumption? Probably not, because we finished off our meal with sundaes.

"Me!"

Tonight Sam and I were talking about cliques, and how even at our ages they still exist. I was telling Sam a story (which I won't go into) and then, seeing the semi-bored expression on his face, asked if cliques were just a girl thing. He said no, they weren't, that guys had cliques and clubs, too.

Me: So, do you have a clique?
Sam: No, I'm too busy to care about that stuff. People want to be in my clique actually.
Me: What's that clique? I am Sam, Sam I am - is that who belongs to your clique?
Sam: You'd be surprised. Lots of people want to be in my group.
Me: Oh yea, like who? Who wants to be in your clique?

And then from the other couch, we both hear this little voice say: "Me."

Yes, indeed, Milo wants to be in his dad's clique. That simple little word from that innocent little guy just brought it back to me. That kind of stuff doesn't matter. What matters is only what my sweet Marsh-Milo said and thinks. (Yes, we're cool to our kids - at least Sam is. I hope he still thinks that in 10 years!)

Going Green

Going green. Ah, it's so inspiring, so empowering, so....trendy. OK, since when did trying to save the planet become the "in" thing to try that all the "cool" kids were doing? Oh, yea, I remember: When Hollywood and the media decided to slap a new label on what us old-school folks used to call, um, "recycling, reusing, and conserving."

TV and the media are so full of the "Going Green" hype now it makes me want to puke green, especially when it comes from celebrities who fly in their private jets to environment-awareness rallies (hello, Kate Walsh). I'm all for refilling my plastic water bottle (or better yet, drinking a glass of water from the tap), reusing my plastic bags as waste basket liners, and simply not showering. But rest assured, I'm not doing it because Hollywood gave me the idea.

And besides, if "Going Green" was so innovative, why wasn't my great-grandma (who lived through the Depression) given any props for her ingenuity in saving 1/4" slivers of soap in plastic bags for reuse in the far future? Because she doesn't get paid millions of dollars to look good on TV and spout tips for better living that, to the rest of us, is simply life.

But, I mean really. Who couldn't do without the stylish eco-friendly diaper bag, inspired and created by my personal hero Trista Sutter, so you can fill it with organic hemp blankets that Punky Brewster herself endorses. For real, I'm not making this up - check it out in a recent issue of Star Magazine, which is, of course, my personal bible. (No kidding, I actually do have a year subscription.)

But all that mumbo-jumbo aside, does anyone know how I can turn in my carbon credits?

Self Reflection

As 2009 begins, I think it's time for some self reflection in a little piece I'm calling "Reasons Why I Suck." Now, I'm not particularly fond of the "s" word, but in this case it fits. (I got this idea from my friend, Kara, when I was researching her blog, so thanks Swaney!)

Reasons Why I Suck....

10. Most times I'd rather spend 30 minutes surfing the Net, than playing hide-n-seek with Matthew.
9. I can spout the evils of caffeine consumption to my parents and husband, but I'm not averse to drinking a tall, cold, refreshing glass of Dr. Pepper myself.
8. Milo is still on the bottle. It's more for my benefit than his.
7. I pride myself on not becoming involved in neighborhood or ward gossip, but secretly enjoy the little tid-bits of information I can get.
6. I hate blogs about women with "cute and smart kids, helpful and nurturing husbands, lots of vacays, children potty-trained at 2 months old, cute craft projects, running marathons six weeks after having a baby, yummy treats," etc...but I keep visiting these blogs out of morbid curiosity and to dig the knife deeper into my own wounds.
5. I complain that I have nothing to wear as I look into a closet jammed with clothes.
4. I want to lose weight, then wonder why I can't the morning after I consumed 12 pringles, 1 string cheese, 3 caramels, a bowl of cereal, and 23 turkey peppproni pieces (and that's only after the kids have gone to bed).
3. I complain that I want my basement finished, but why? I hardly get overnight visitors and it's not like my kids are going to play down there at their ages, let alone sleep alone down there.
2. I say I hate trends and roll my eyes at them, but I find myself buying cute aprons, decorating in brown hues, buying magnet boards, and secretly wishing I belonged to a Bunko group.
1. I know what makes my husband happy (and overall home life happier), but most times I'm just not in the mood.