Undie Overload

Tonight was our ward's R.S. birthday bash. The theme was along the lines of "Remember When..." and so followed an assortment of old dresses hanging on the walls, centerpieces made eons ago in some forgotten Homemaking meeting (plastic grapes anyone?), and good-old fashioned Mormon fixins - Jell-O, roast, funeral potatoes, green beans, etc. It really was an original theme.

They had some ladies share memories of "olden" times. I couldn't relate to diapering any babies in cloths, making bottles with water and Karo syrup, not strapping kids in car seats, or hanging clothes to dry (ironing, what's that?). But, after some thoughtful reflection I do have two memories that does stand out from early on my church-going youth:

First, my mom wore a ton of clothes before she could even put on her Sunday dress. As a child that amazed me and I remember telling her so. First to go on was the Gs, then the pantyhose, bra, girdle, slip, and finally the dress. Man, I remember thinking that was a ton of clothes. Now, I must be getting older because I dress the same way - although I am thinking of switching to Spanx as a way to combine the pantyhose/girdle combo. Anyone tried it?

Second, has to be the "lantern" my mom made in some activity. I think it was comprised of a small saucer plate, upside down tea cup, another saucer all glued together and spray painted with some rubber black concoction. I guess the '80s had their lanterns and we have our magnet boards - go figure.

Me Jackie, Me Hungry

So, I had this extremely ravenous appetite for some meat tonight. And seeing that I am not a very good cook (I can hold my own with salads and desserts), I had to resort to other means. After an extreme stomach turning adventure with mustard chicken a few years back, I have to blacken chicken to make sure it's done. So, tonight was one of those obscene cravings where I could totally feel at home with the Flintstones as the rack of ribs tips over the mini-van at the drive-thru. I settled for Wendy's instead.

Yes, there you have it - an admission to my sins. Yes, I do break the Sabbath occassionally. I don't shop at the stores and don't wine and dine myself at restaurants, but yes, people, I do satisfy my cravings with a trip to the Cum-n-Go (seriously, they do exist...hehe) or the Dairy Queen. Bad habits learned years ago from my Gpa and Aunt Ellen. It's either satisfy the inner beast or kill the kids - I think God understands my dilema.

I had two hamburgers. I seriously would have eaten the entire bag-o-burgers at Arctic Circle, but thems good Mormon going people who don't open their business on Sundays for heathens like myself. Then I snuck some chicken nuggets away from the children. I did draw the line, however, at finishing off Cooper's half eaten ones thrown way under the front seat. Standards, people.

So, two hamburgers - not that bad, right? Well, did I mention I ate an entire sleeve of Oreos between 12:15 pm and 1:00 pm. I didn't eat breakfast and church just makes me hungry. Is it just me or is anyone else starving when they get home, even if you have had breakfast/lunch? After my Oreo high ran out, I needed some more chocolate. The only chocolate available were the little morsels in the chocolate chip bag. Helped myself to a heaping cup. Yum, yum. So, it's understandable that by the time 6:00 came around I needed some salt to even out the sugar...hence the hamburger dilema.

Then in between the sugar high and the caveman urgings I'd had about enough of the children. Sometimes the whining and the constant needs just get to me. I think Milo has spent most of the day crying outside my locked door - he's two and a little evil right now. Sam's been gone for two weeks now and my patience is just thin. And I woke up this morning with a big fat whiteheaded zit just under my lower lip. Zits around the lip area are just bad. Then my skirt was a little tighter around the midsection than I remember it being last week.

So, after I get the kids out of the tub I'm taking a Midol and Tylenol PM, putting Twilight on, zoning out, and calling it a night.

Go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep!

I'm actually talking to myself with that one. I have not gone to sleep until 2 am for the last few nights. I have become obsessed once again. First it was "Twilight" (so over that), then blogging (hmm...that's waning a bit), then couponing (still going strong), and now "Lost" (Holy mother of M-O-L-Y! Could the nerd coils be any hotter right now!)

I'm always a little late jumping on any fad or bandwagon. I know big bangs are out, but are A-line bobs still in? OK, good. So, even though Lost began in 2004 I didn't become a true follower until 2008. Four whole stinkin' years I was missing out. So, after the ever-so-gentle prodding of my SIL, Tiesha, and brother, Jason, I watched the first DVD of the first season. So, about this time last year I watched Seasons 1-3, then just recently watched Season 4, had DVR'd Season 5 and as of last night I can join the ranks of Lost freaks. Ah, it feels so good to be "current."

So, sorry, right now instead of spying on my fellow bloggies, I will be immersing myself over at www.ew.com where Doc Jensen is my new crush. This guy is either brilliant or he has some insider knowledge about the island. In either case, I have become mesmerized, and will now fully participate in the postulations, what-ifs, and maybes of all things LOST.

This Doc Jensen fella is all about the literary allusions of Lost. I admit, I do find his theories pretty much right on and fascinating. Finally, six years after the fact, lessons from my literary theory and criticism class are finally clicking. I sat glossy-eyed and in another dimension myself in that class and have no idea how I survived. But Doc's analysis of names and symbols in Lost are finally making elements from that stinkin' criticism class make sense.

I have to confer with my brother after Lost episodes and he has ever so enlightened me with his own theories:

1. Richard Alpert (hmm...he is good-looking meat) is really an Egyptian who has found a portal from ancient times that has lead him, and possibly others, to the island. This would explain the black eyeliner. And this would also explain the giant statue, whose only remains are a four-toed sandled food. The statue, which we only get a quick look at during one of the time warps, resembles the many-eared god of the underworld, Hades. (Jason theory)

2. Eloise is Daniel Faraday's mother. She is also the woman with the gun during the "Jughead" episode. She is referred to as Ellie. (Jason theory)

3. If Ellie is Eloise, I'm betting that Daniel Faraday is the love child of Ellie and Charles Widmore, who were both in Alpert's group of others at the same time. This would explain Widmore financing Faraday's ventures. (my theory)

4. Claire is not really dead - and I suspect that at some point we will see a reemergence of dead characters who will be resurrected in some respect according to the islands wishes.....OK, that one's a stretch. (my theory)

5. It's hard to say who is absolutely good and who is absolutely bad. I think we'll find Charles Widmore is a better man than that lying sucker Ben Linus would have us think. After all, he told Desmond how to reach Eloise and isn't Eloise the master-mind behind getting everyone's butts back to fantasy island? Why doesn't Eloise just send her former lover back there herself? (my theory)

6. John Locke got talked out of killing himself by Ben....yet another example of Ben's smooth convincing. The island wanted John to die (not sure why yet), but Ben is once again assuming control - just like he did when Locke was supposed to turn the wheel, but Ben did it instead. (my theory)

7. The Dharma Initiative's symbol looks eerily like a snake - snakes were very much a part of Egyptian life/mythology. We think of serpents as evil (Adam and Eve), but not necessarily so for the Egyptians. (my theory)

There is so much going on in the show. I hope they can tie up so many lose ends. What about Walt and the other special children that were on the flight? Anyway, I will be all about LOSTing it on Friday mornings now. And Sam better not change the channel and screw up my recordings. Doesn't he know I have "lost" of TV to keep up on??

Brianhead

The other weekend we took a getaway trip to Brianhead Resort. (FYI - it is not "Brian Head" or "Brian Head Ski Resort." It's Brianhead Resort. Yes, I learned that the hard way when I got a MFE, or major factual error, on a rough copy of a newspaper article when I wrote for the SUU Journal. Also, the grocery store is spelled "Lins" when you're writing an article for the Journal, even though their damn sign is spelled "Lin's." It's spelled that way without the apostrophe because that's the way it is in the copy bible, aka the phonebook. I am still bitter about that one. So, yes, that's what I think about whenever I hear "Brianhead" or "Lin's.")

So we went to Brianhead. My Aunt Laura is an accountant at one of the lodges and she got us a room for two nights. I grew up in Colorado but have never been a fan of the snow. I never went skiing until I was a senior in high school. Sledding was as outdoorsy-cold as I want to get and that even changed after I saw my brother fly about 15 feet in the air and land on his upper back at Old Powderhorn. Very dangerous.

So, I was nervous for days about going down that sledding hill at Brianhead. But, I stood my ground and refused to go down. Instead, I sent my innocent five-year-old baby and my cousin Beth up the slopes. Who just lays on a rubber tube face first and heads down an icy mountain at speeds of 15 mph? Not me! I just make my little boy do it for photo ops.

The Last of the 20s

A couple weeks ago was a big, last birthday celebration for the last of my big 20s. OK, so it wasn't big - it was actually quite intimate - just me and the (little) boys. Yes, pity party moment for me. Sam was gone on a tow and I was determined not to cook. So, a sandwich for me and McNuggets for the boys. But, I did get a cake (with my name!), thank you Grandma, and I did buy myself a deep freeze. Wahoo, party on!

The chest below sits in Cooper's room now. It was made by my Grandpa Whiting about four years before he passed away. Notice the date - it's been 20 years now. Wow. It's held up really well and has yet to be marred or marked by the kids. I'm sure it'll be with me forever. I took out the "Jem Starstage" and pioneer skirt from my third grade music program and replaced them with baby blankets. But in the drawer below still sits middle school yearbooks, plastic hook beads, and a hopscotch throwy thing (does that have a name??) My, how the years have changed.