Thanks for Ellen

I'm so thankful for my Aunt Ellen. Today is her birthday, and she would've been 46. Wow, that's hard to believe. She died in August 1999, but it feels like she's been gone forever. I wish I had a picture at my house that I could post of her, but I've searched forever and can't find the one I know I had. All the other pictures in the photo book are right there and that one is missing. She must have come and stole it.

Ellen is my mom's next youngest sister and the closest aunt and one of the best friends I ever had. I have so many good memories of her. When she'd stay at our house, she'd sleep in my bed and then leave a candy bar under the pillow when she left. I always looked forward to coming home from school to find it. My cousins and I would have sleepover at my Grandma's up in Ellen's room. We slept on the floor and Ellen would always tell us she had to go downstairs and would be right back. She'd never come back and we'd fall asleep waiting for her to return. And that memory reminds me of the "Hibernation Game." We'd "hibernate" (hide) and she'd come find us. She'd never come to find us. Also, we'd play the "Quiet Game." I'm sure you can guess how that one worked. It's really funny now that I look back. I'm going to try those games with my kids.

Ellen was my biggest supporter. She was right there with me bad mouthing my volleyball coaches and threatening to take them out. She defended me against anyone, including her own sisters. And she was always there to talk to. She was such a night owl and I could find her any time I needed to talk. She didn't have much money, but she bought me a graduation dress and a swimsuit when I went to France.

She is the greatest example of enduring to the end. When she was 18 she was diagnosed with a rare blood disorder that caused lumps on her skin. She was in and out of the hospital until the end, often spending weeks at a time at the University of Utah hospital. Sure, she had her bad days and wasn't a saint, but that just makes her human and even more of an example. The countless operations, medications, and stress eventually took its toll and she died in her sleep at home, in her own bed....with the TV on. If there was any way to go for her, I'm so glad it was that way.

Ellen loved writing in her journal and she had literally dozens and dozens of journals. I know she had such a testimony and faith of what lie ahead of her. I'm sad for myself that she never got to see any of my own kids and I often think what she would think of them. She never married, but I'm sure she's found her Civil War hunk in heaven that she often mentioned.

I know Ellen would've gotten a kick out of this whole blogging phenom and probably would've had her own. I'm not so good at the journal thing, but blogging does help a little. I just wanted to share a little about my favorite aunt and how often I think of her.